Self-Compassion in Pregnancy

Practicing self-compassion means being kind to yourself, especially during challenging moments, like when you don’t meet your expectations or feel less productive or successful.

Self-compassion expert Kristen Neff says there are 3 elements to the practice:

1. Self-kindness. Treat yourself with kindness, not criticism.
2. Common humanity. Understand your feelings are a normal part of being human and you’re not alone.
3. Mindfulness. Acknowledge your negative emotions without letting them overwhelm you. Allow them to pass naturally.

Practicing self-compassion during pregnancy can:

• Boost your mental health.
• Help prevent postpartum depression and anxiety.
• Make you feel more balanced and at ease.

But it's not always easy, especially with changing energy levels, mood swings, and worries about becoming a parent.

Try these tips:

• Be kind to yourself. Speak positively about yourself, even when things are tough.
• Acknowledge your emotions. If you have an outburst, don’t be hard on yourself.
• Communicate openly. Apologize to your partner and talk about your feelings.
• Give yourself grace. Hormonal changes and lack of sleep are normal during this time. Rest when you need to.
• Don't be self-critical. If you have a bad day or make a mistake, be gentle with yourself.

Here are 2 exercises you can do:

Exercise 1: Self-Compassion in 3 Steps

This is especially helpful if you’re in your third trimester and feeling tired, moody, and unproductive.
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1. Acknowledge the difficulty: "Pregnancy is really challenging, and all these changes are overwhelming."
2. Remind yourself you’re human: "Many people experience difficulties and worries during pregnancy."
3. Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself as you would a friend, using reassuring statements such as, "I'm doing the best I can," or "I'm strong for going through this experience." Try writing them down if you find it helpful.

Exercise 2: Monitor Your Self-Talk

Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Is it positive or negative?

1. Identify your thoughts. What were you thinking when you started feeling bad?
2. Reframe your thoughts with reality and kindness. If you’re struggling with intense cravings, don't criticize yourself. Instead, think, "I’d like to eat healthier, but these cravings are tough. I’ll add some healthy foods to my next meal to make sure I’m getting the nutrients I need."