“Should” statements occur when we tell ourselves that we "should" or "must" do something.
While "should" statements can help you feel like you're in control and like you can avoid pain or disappointment, over time these statements can become beliefs that worsen depression.
The first step is to catch "should'' statements when they go through your mind. For example, "I should go to the gym."
Once you've noticed one, ask yourself what you'd prefer to do. Would you prefer to work out in the morning or the evening?
When you take the time to check in with yourself and and ask what you would prefer, you're showing yourself compassion.
Next, try to soften your "should" statement with the word “want." Now the statement becomes, "I want to go to the gym now."
Noticing your options gives you control over your choices and actions.
This week, look for "should" statements that come up in your thoughts.
In your journal, write down each "should" statement you notice. See if you can write down five "should" statements before the end of the week.
For each "should" statement, replace "should" with “want."
Ask yourself what you believe will happen if you don't follow your rule or "should" statement. Identifying your belief behind the rule can help you to challenge it.
Balancing all of life's tasks is hard on a good day, but when you're dealing with depression, it can feel impossible. You may feel overwhelmed by work, family, and other obligations. When you're feeling overwhelmed, it's especially important to treat yourself with compassion.
